Result is out and I did badly. I just can't shake off this feeling. This feeling that I'm meant to fail. I know it's ridiculous since ultimately if I had studied hard enough, I'd be able to do well. Hell even top the cohort. But I didn't. I screwed up. I mean, I could blame others but what's the point right?

I just feel like the ultimate failure. I feel I've wasted 20 years of my life to become a failure. I don't know whether it's the company I'm surrounded with or... Amazingly they did better than me (the company) even though they cheated. But who cares right? Bottom line, I did BADLY and they fared well.

My mind is in a constant whirl and I need to sort everything out. I have to. Although I just wish there's a simple solution. Maybe there is? Just work my arse off. But how to? When the workload should be 4 person's work and I'm doing it alone? I don't know.

My only wish to figure everything out before school resumes. Dear God, please lead me to the right path. Amin.